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Working in fast food, you get a handful of regular customers who stand out for one reason or another. Nails Bitch was never seen without fake nails so impractically long you wondered how she could perform basic tasks. Redneck Santa was a man who looked like Billy Gibbons gained 100 pounds and only owned camo. My favorite though was Strider, so-called because he always sat in the booth in the corner as if he were afraid of being seen eating here. This place was right next to a subway stop in the financial district and saw lots of professionals grabbing a bite here before or after work. At times there were so many suits it looked more like a country club than a greasy burger joint. Strider, however, didn’t dress up. He wore jeans and a t-shirt; shorts if it was hot, or a University of [State] Class of 2016 sweatshirt if it was cold. Given his attire and some phone conversations I overheard, I put together that he was a programmer for a company headquartered in the high-rise across the

Freshman Year: I met my girlfriend our freshman year of college, where we shared a couple classes for our major. Back then neither of us was fat yet. I was 5'10", had played volleyball in high school, and did a bit of weightlifting, so I was in better than average shape; not buff, but fit. Amy on the other hand was a tiny theater kid standing just 5'2", and never really had time for sports. Despite this, she was pretty thin. No muscle definition whatsoever, but no excess fat either. I was immediately drawn to her, and I wasn't the only one. Amy had gorgeous blonde locks, a smile that lit up a room, and was packing a pair of double-Ds for good measure. To the chagrin of myself and a great many others, she was committed to a long-distance relationship with her high school boyfriend. So I turned my romantic interest aside and we became friends. We both pledged Greek life, and with both of us being 18, we spent a lot of time together at each other's house, especially thanks to a